I’m going to throw my two cents out there before all my pennies are gone. I thought about just putting the word “Vote” on this page and calling it a day. But getting off our collective asses come Election Day isn’t the most important thing we can do. Not this year. By the time you read this, our country’s fate and future will have been decided and HOPE(fully) back on the right track. The difference between Curtain A and Curtain B is about as obvious as evolution. If you’re undecided at this point about who would make the best team, just stay home. I’m looking at you, crazy-haired McCain Rally Lady, Joe the Plumber—and all the other Sling Blades out there unable to grasp the complexity of what’s in front of us. Things that are “fundamentally sound” today don’t unravel on a three-hour plane ride. Our economy is on an 800 billion dollar (probably more by the time you read this) life support system that we’re now on the hook for. The planet hacks a little louder each day and nothing real is being done about it. We’re fighting two wars—three if you count the illegitimate one on drugs. Maybe we should just legalize weed. At least that way we could tax it and inject some serious money into the economy. You know no matter how down-and-out people get, they’ll always find a way to buy a sack. Given all the things in life stressing fools out, demand for the product is only going to grow. Sounds like a steady income source to me. Seriously, though, there are a lot of reasons why I believe Obama would be a better president, but none of them have to do with me thinking John McCain is some evil guy. Out of touch, most definitely. Sarah Palin being a heartbeat away from his job (guy is 72 and has had multiple heart attacks) underlines where his head’s at. Drill baby drill? Shooting wolves from helicopters? Aren’t they almost extinct or something? Banning books? She couldn’t even think of one newspaper or magazine she reads for world news (just lie and make a few up already), but she has a list of books she wants banned. Really? The witch doctor thing is like icing on the creationist cake. Maybe it’s preventative medicine for when people grab their pitchforks, light their torches on fire and take to the streets in protest. Scary shit if you ask me. Her wink gets in my craw like Bush’s smile. Screw candidates with a down-to-earth, let’s-kick-it-and-have-a-beer demeanor. I want the people leading this country to be smarter than me. I want to feel inferior when in their presence, not like I’m in a room with a bunch of “Jay Walking” candidates.
So screw the ambiguity—this time’s it’s too important for vagaries. Let’s hope by the time you read this, Barack Obama will be busy stocking his cabinet with secretaries, and I won’t be stocking my panic room with cases of canned chili and shotgun shells…