Rock and roll is the great equalizer. Not only can it turn a mill worker’s son into a millionaire, it can give ugly men the opportunity to have sex with beautiful women. Pete Doherty the sanitation worker isn’t getting it on with Kate Moss. Ric Ocasek the Baskin-Robbins cake decorator isn’t having his way with Paulina Porizkova. Even someone like Roy Orbison, with his pale, puffy complexion and Ted Koppel-styled mane, can be a sex symbol. And not just to the ladies. Ulrich Haarbürste has written over a dozen sexually charged stories centered on Roy Orbison being wrapped in plastic film. Here’s an excerpt from “Roy in Clingfilm in Space”: “The clingfilm unfurls in languid arcs in the zero gravity and then girdles him gently as I spiral around him. Soon, Captain Roy Orbison of the Space Pioneers is completely wrapped in clingfilm. In all the infinite galaxies there is not a man as happy as I.”